Friday, 3 February 2012

Things you wouldn't necessarily think of but are dead obvious once you realise.

The internet is a list maker's paradise. Sure, most of the internet is pretty much just a massive collection of useless, interrelated horrible opinions, but it's also a convenient medium for cataloging a number of similar topics and then sharing that collection with strangers. I swear I've never seen so many lists in my life than inadvertently on the internet, and I'm an organised chap. So, to participate fully in this e-sperience, I have made my own list, very rapidly, of some stuff I have observed in a month in Berlin. I call it:

Things you wouldn't necessarily think of about Germany but are dead obvious once you realise.

  • Water from the tap is really, really cold.
  • Hot food gets cold really quickly. By the time you've buttered your toast and walked into the next room, you're just having cold, crispy bread for breakfast. 
  • The Berlin Underground is a box, not a tube. 
  • (For my nerd friends: the Berlin Underground is a rectangular prism, not a cylinder.)
  • Splashed/spilled water does not dry up quickly, or at all. 
  • Your salary sounds much more generous when it's cited in monthly payments instead of fortnightly but, on a closer look, they're probably ripping you off. 
  • Beer is cheap (and plentiful). I mean SE Asian level cheap. 
  • Cider is elusive. 
  • Boogies freeze in your nose, then thaw and drip out of your nostrils when you're aboard a warm train.
  • Berliners still have early Perth-morning frost breath at midday.
  • Tomato sauce bottles do not specify that they should be refrigerated after opening -- but it is recommended to keep them cold. 
  • Water takes yonks to boil.
  • Shrinkage is rampant. My fingers are much smaller and my wedding ring is quite loose.
  • When Vicky's shopping list contains "100 paper", she means "loo paper".
  • Vicky will laugh at you if you ask, "what's hundred paper?"

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