Shopping in Berlin is maximally munted

I don't mean this to come off as a massive whinge. One of the reasons I left Australia (albeit temporarily) was to get away from an endlessly-whining upper middle class complaining that governments weren't giving them enough free money. To turn into one of those horrid, self-entitled arseholes after leaving would make me very, very ashamed. Also, there is an awful lot that I love about Berlin. There's great, big heaving armloads of things to love. Too much for one man to hold in his manly arms!

But seriously, Berlin, shopping here is really fucked.

Vego Foodworld

I feel a bit guilty for my post slagging off Germany for doing spicy food so poorly. I stand by it, proudly pointing at its impressive accuracy, but I still feel a bit bad. This may be due to the next post I'll write about Asian food in Berlin in general - hoo boy will that be a corker! - and the potential overall impression that food in Germany sucks noodles (which is what they call pasta, but that's another rant). 

Please allow me to rectify.

Octuple X

This is a truly-ruly sign outside a menswear store. I know the stereotypical German is a jolly portly fellow in ill-fitting britches but how can a store survive specialising only in sizes extra-extra large to extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra-extra large? 

Surely if you're large enough to wear octuple-extra large, you: 

• Probably shouldn't be able to leave the house via conventional means.
• Might as well just wrap yourself in a bedsheet and be done with it.
• Shop over the internet. For everything. 

On the other hand, it might be some kinky German sex thing I don't understand - yet. Could I handle octuple-x-rated? Stay tuned to find out!

Or feel free to log off, really; just be sure to come back. Thanks.

HEAD SHOP

Head Shop

Unfortunately, I think it's just a low budget or lazy hairdressers'. They'll probably be a bit miffed if you just walk in and ask for head, shrunken or otherwise. 

Chilly Chilli

For a country with such a cold, grey climate, Germany does hot/spicy food surprisingly poorly. Rather than attempting to whisk away the winter blues with a lovely, warming curry that'll set your mouth on fire and run rockets down your gullet, the Germans appear to prefer sipping on lukewarm mush that matches the dreary sky above.

While Vicky and I have struggled in vain to find a decent spicy meal, no experience has so disappointed us as our evening eating 'hot chili' cornchips with a 'hot' salsa dip.

East Berlin fashion outlet

Where it's hip to be poor:

Berlin, the gay-friendliest capital.

In the treats aisle of your local supermarket:

Super Dickmann's are super big with crispy chocolate

Not just any kind of Dickmann's, mind. Super Dickmann's.


Also, I shit you not, 'Prall' translates to 'firm', 'bulging', 'swollen' or 'chubby'. Who says Germans don't have a sense of humour?

NUTELLAAAAAA!

When I saw this at the supermarket, I just had to have it. 

1.4 kg of Nutella for €5.99. The jar is as big as my face.

World's Greatest Branding

It works on so very many levels.

Soft AND reliable. Ladies, your search is over.

POMERANZA.

Both Matt and I love Mr Sparrow in Subiaco (but I think I love it just a little bit more). For several months, it was part of our Saturday morning routine to finish a trip to the Subi Farmers’ Market with a visit to our favourite little shop. Despite regular visits, during which we would touch everything on display and spend about 15 minutes staring longingly at all the stock, we really only ever bought greeting cards.


The owner is probably quite glad we’re gone.


Luckily, a few days after moving to our new flat in Prenzlauer Berg, we found our replacement for Mr Sparrow. It’s called POMERANZA design ranch.