Thursday 28 June 2012

oh no.

The manchild what scribbles those stupid faces on walls in Prenzlauer Berg must have been given a bicycle for a gift or something. 

I just spotted one of the hideous visages on my lunch break in Kreuzberg.

Fuck. 

Wednesday 27 June 2012

Rude Shock, Happy Ending

I didn't buy my usual bargain beers at the weekend just past. Our bags were heavy enough with Vicky's booze (gluten free beers and organic cidre) so I gave our shoulders a break and the beers a miss. It would be okay, I naively thought; I have rum at home.

Well, I finished off the rum on Monday and decided to have an alcohol-free day on Tuesday. What I fool I was. It was a rough day at work, I was home later than I'd hoped and, after I flopped onto the bed, Vicky popped open one of her beers and settled in next to me (we are too povo for a couch). 

I put my shoes back on and trekked five doors down to the Asian mini-mart (note: not open on Sundays) where I was charged the exorbitant sum of €2.40 for two cold beers. Okay, sure, some of that cost is the pfand deposit but I won't be the one to return the bottles. Doing so would rob the neighbour children an income.

My point is: if you're a recovering alcoholic, Berlin may not be the best place to visit. If you're anybody else, it's flipping ace. If you're a small boy, there's money to be made in my building's recycling bin. 

Monday 25 June 2012

Shopping in Berlin is maximally munted

I don't mean this to come off as a massive whinge. One of the reasons I left Australia (albeit temporarily) was to get away from an endlessly-whining upper middle class complaining that governments weren't giving them enough free money. To turn into one of those horrid, self-entitled arseholes after leaving would make me very, very ashamed. Also, there is an awful lot that I love about Berlin. There's great, big heaving armloads of things to love. Too much for one man to hold in his manly arms!

But seriously, Berlin, shopping here is really fucked.

Friday 22 June 2012

Famous

The citizens of Berlin have taken Vicky into their hearts.

My friend Wickie
They also seem well aware of her penchant for funny hats. 

Tuesday 19 June 2012

:O

In Norway he's know as "Willy".

He's got more names than Santa Claus, this bloke.

Monday 18 June 2012

wo ist walter

A couple of weeks ago, I posted up a photo of Where's Wally, erm, enthusiasts near Alexanderplatz. My friendly American friend Katie advised that Wally is known as Waldo in America. Although I was originally jiggered if I knew why his name was changed, I have since discovered: he has a different name in Germany too!

Wo ist Walter?
No wonder he's so flipping hard to find all the time, and always trying to lose himself in a crowd. He's an international man of mystery! What do we really know about him, anyway? Certainly not his real name! And that outrageous get-up. He must surely be wearing it just to rile CCTV promoters: he can stand out in a crowd and still not get caught. He even wears that stupid beanie to the beach! Is he some anti-establishment revolutionary, thumbing his nose at the Man and his cameras? If I recall correctly, one of his accomplices is a "wizard". That's certainly shifty. 

Has anybody ever seen him and/or Austin Powers in the same room together at the same time?

Sunday 17 June 2012

wankers

Not only is Berlin a fantastic place to live and be a drunken yob (see the start of this post), it's also really easy to be a self-righteous wanker. I've already recounted our regular trips to Vego Foodworld --- a vegan fast-food paradise where even the potatoes come from "happy farms" --- but check out some of our other grocery-shopping purchases:

Saturday 9 June 2012

Face/off

There is an awful lot to love about Berlin. 

It's the seat of the country's right-wing government, which is refreshingly liberal and thankfully not batshit crazy. Booze is plentiful and affordable and publicly drunk---and the public drunks bother nobody but themselves. I'm pleasantly amazed that in this multicultural international capital city, where unemployment is high and alcohol is cheap and consumed everywhere, children fearlessly walk the streets unaccompanied at 9pm. Unhindered access to grog has not created a den of vice and sin with weekly bashings and race riots. I've never felt safer. City of Perth, please take note.

Vicky and I have taken to strolling the streets with a couple of beers and cigars, plonking down on park benches when we need a rest. People don't look down their noses at us. They ask for directions or advice. 

People do as they like and nobody is unintentionally offended or telephones the fun police.

Similarly, graffiti is everywhere. It must not be illegal or, if it is, it must be on par with jaywalking. If you've followed the blog for a bit, you'll know that often this is really lovely or cute or interesting, and a great sight to liven an otherwise ordinary day.

Sure, a lot of it is also hideous scribbles and tags but there are surprisingly few swears and I have seen only one racist sentiment, and even then it was small (almost ashamed of itself) and written in liquid paper. 

But more than the scrawls or the lone emasculated racist, there's one graffiti gimp that's really shitting me. 

Sunday 3 June 2012

Karneval der Kulturen

Last weekend we experienced Berlin's tremendous Carnival of Cultures. Beforehand, I was told that it involved different cultures in Berlin doing a dance. When asked how many cultures would be involved, a native Berliner answered "all of them". 


"All" of the cultures doing a dance. I didn't expect it would be a fun way to spend a day. Turns out it is blimming fantastic. There is near endless parade of culture, including some of the lesser-seen or never-before-heard-ofs, and stalls offering all manner of tasty delights. If you are in Berlin next year for the carnival, I strongly recommend attending.


Sadly, it was difficult to find vegetarian, gluten-free foods at the stalls. Fortunately, there was plenty of multi-kulti booze.


Here are some of the better photographs.

How does he smell?

PS - We didn't emerge completely unscathed from our party weekend in Hamburg, mysterious sushi shenanigans notwithstanding. Ralf, our hardcore companion suffered from some particularly bad blow and lost his nose.
oh nose!
Luckily, we were able to get it on ice rightaway and, as the German medical system is so good, we expect they'll be able to attach it better than new! ...Once we get around to it.