Any Suggestions for Indoor Activities in Berlin?

In the two forecasts below, one of these places in the middle of summer. The other is in the middle of winter. 

Glorious Berlin Summer

Rubbish Perth Winter

Vicky and I have some friends visiting from Perth this week. It's been piddling down pretty much the entire time they've been here. I'd like to blame them for the horrid weather, confusing the seasons, especially when last week was a little bit hot and I even wore shorts outside the house for the first time since leaving Dubai in January. I'd just be trying to stop myself from feeling so guilty, however, that their trip has been so disappointing. It's making it really hard to recommend afternoons in Prater, or Mauerpark, or the Tiergarten. Good one, Berlin.

Intermission

Hello again. Sorry, I know it's been a while between decent posts. We had absconded internationally again, visiting Denmark and Sweden. It was tremendous and Copenhagen is truly brilliant - so many bicycles and sexy bicycle legs! Still, it does feel good to be back home in Berlin. 

By the way, we ate very well in Copenhagen, mostly, but it was pretty tough to find vegetarian and gluten-free options. Much, much harder than Berlin, at any rate. (That's not entirely the reason I'm glad to be back but it's a contributor and blog relevant).

In the meantime, while I work up the enthusiasm to write another donuts post, here is a photo of me enjoying a beer on the mean streets of Berlin, just in case you didn't believe me when I wrote about how awesome it was.

Prost!

oh no.

The manchild what scribbles those stupid faces on walls in Prenzlauer Berg must have been given a bicycle for a gift or something. 

I just spotted one of the hideous visages on my lunch break in Kreuzberg.

Fuck. 

Rude Shock, Happy Ending

I didn't buy my usual bargain beers at the weekend just past. Our bags were heavy enough with Vicky's booze (gluten free beers and organic cidre) so I gave our shoulders a break and the beers a miss. It would be okay, I naively thought; I have rum at home.

Well, I finished off the rum on Monday and decided to have an alcohol-free day on Tuesday. What I fool I was. It was a rough day at work, I was home later than I'd hoped and, after I flopped onto the bed, Vicky popped open one of her beers and settled in next to me (we are too povo for a couch). 

I put my shoes back on and trekked five doors down to the Asian mini-mart (note: not open on Sundays) where I was charged the exorbitant sum of €2.40 for two cold beers. Okay, sure, some of that cost is the pfand deposit but I won't be the one to return the bottles. Doing so would rob the neighbour children an income.

My point is: if you're a recovering alcoholic, Berlin may not be the best place to visit. If you're anybody else, it's flipping ace. If you're a small boy, there's money to be made in my building's recycling bin. 

Shopping in Berlin is maximally munted

I don't mean this to come off as a massive whinge. One of the reasons I left Australia (albeit temporarily) was to get away from an endlessly-whining upper middle class complaining that governments weren't giving them enough free money. To turn into one of those horrid, self-entitled arseholes after leaving would make me very, very ashamed. Also, there is an awful lot that I love about Berlin. There's great, big heaving armloads of things to love. Too much for one man to hold in his manly arms!

But seriously, Berlin, shopping here is really fucked.

Famous

The citizens of Berlin have taken Vicky into their hearts.

My friend Wickie

They also seem well aware of her penchant for funny hats. 

:O

In Norway he's know as "Willy".

He's got more names than Santa Claus, this bloke.

wo ist walter

A couple of weeks ago, I posted up a photo of Where's Wally, erm, enthusiasts near Alexanderplatz. My friendly American friend Katie advised that Wally is known as Waldo in America. Although I was originally jiggered if I knew why his name was changed, I have since discovered: he has a different name in Germany too!

Wo ist Walter?

No wonder he's so flipping hard to find all the time, and always trying to lose himself in a crowd. He's an international man of mystery! What do we really know about him, anyway? Certainly not his real name! And that outrageous get-up. He must surely be wearing it just to rile CCTV promoters: he can stand out in a crowd and still not get caught. He even wears that stupid beanie to the beach! Is he some anti-establishment revolutionary, thumbing his nose at the Man and his cameras? If I recall correctly, one of his accomplices is a "wizard". That's certainly shifty. 

Has anybody ever seen him and/or Austin Powers in the same room together at the same time?

wankers

Not only is Berlin a fantastic place to live and be a drunken yob (see the start of this post), it's also really easy to be a self-righteous wanker. I've already recounted our regular trips to Vego Foodworld --- a vegan fast-food paradise where even the potatoes come from "happy farms" --- but check out some of our other grocery-shopping purchases:

You wouldn't believe that people won't believe I'm not from the UK, the US, NZ or, (sometimes, for true) DE

I think that I am going to have to start saying that I am from Oz-tray-ya, so that people will believe it.

Face/off

There is an awful lot to love about Berlin. 

It's the seat of the country's right-wing government, which is refreshingly liberal and thankfully not batshit crazy. Booze is plentiful and affordable and publicly drunk---and the public drunks bother nobody but themselves. I'm pleasantly amazed that in this multicultural international capital city, where unemployment is high and alcohol is cheap and consumed everywhere, children fearlessly walk the streets unaccompanied at 9pm. Unhindered access to grog has not created a den of vice and sin with weekly bashings and race riots. I've never felt safer. City of Perth, please take note.

Vicky and I have taken to strolling the streets with a couple of beers and cigars, plonking down on park benches when we need a rest. People don't look down their noses at us. They ask for directions or advice. 

People do as they like and nobody is unintentionally offended or telephones the fun police.

Similarly, graffiti is everywhere. It must not be illegal or, if it is, it must be on par with jaywalking. If you've followed the blog for a bit, you'll know that often this is really lovely or cute or interesting, and a great sight to liven an otherwise ordinary day.

Sure, a lot of it is also hideous scribbles and tags but there are surprisingly few swears and I have seen only one racist sentiment, and even then it was small (almost ashamed of itself) and written in liquid paper. 

But more than the scrawls or the lone emasculated racist, there's one graffiti gimp that's really shitting me. 

Karneval der Kulturen

Last weekend we experienced Berlin's tremendous Carnival of Cultures. Beforehand, I was told that it involved different cultures in Berlin doing a dance. When asked how many cultures would be involved, a native Berliner answered "all of them". 


"All" of the cultures doing a dance. I didn't expect it would be a fun way to spend a day. Turns out it is blimming fantastic. There is near endless parade of culture, including some of the lesser-seen or never-before-heard-ofs, and stalls offering all manner of tasty delights. If you are in Berlin next year for the carnival, I strongly recommend attending.


Sadly, it was difficult to find vegetarian, gluten-free foods at the stalls. Fortunately, there was plenty of multi-kulti booze.


Here are some of the better photographs.

How does he smell?

PS - We didn't emerge completely unscathed from our party weekend in Hamburg, mysterious sushi shenanigans notwithstanding. Ralf, our hardcore companion suffered from some particularly bad blow and lost his nose.

oh nose!

Luckily, we were able to get it on ice rightaway and, as the German medical system is so good, we expect they'll be able to attach it better than new! ...Once we get around to it.

Glutenfrei, Vego Hamburger?

A couple of weeks ago, Vicky and I went to Hamburg for a long weekend. It was a lot of fun. Hamburg is, after all, a party city. Check it out.

Obvs, we went to the Reeperbahn. You know all about that, I'm sure. A nod's a good as a wink to a blind bat, eh?

ominous clouds in the background, too

And the winner is...

I was going to write something snarky about all the entrants to the last mind-bending riddle being inventive-but-forgetful geniuses, as everybody entered anonymously. This would have made it terribly difficult to correctly award the well-deserved Euro. One anon is like any other, after all.


Fortunately, Chris wrote his name within his anonymous entry, so he wins by default. Clearly the cleverest.


Chris, next time I see you, I have a well-polished Euro with your name on it!*


This, of course, assumes you are a Chris I already know.




*"your name on it" is a metaphor; "well-polished" isn't. 

Another Riddle

The picture below was taken in Rome, not Berlin, but Vicky was eating a gluten-free meal and I was eating a delicious no-cheese, all-mushroom pizza, so it's still blog-relevant. 

While noshing, I was utterly bamboozled as to what the sign could possibly mean. So, I have on offer a carefully hand-selected collectible €1 coin to whomever can best explain it. 

Let's hope we get more than one entrant this time...

no prize if you guess 'stop the Euro going right'

I Like Ice-Cream.

Oh, and I forgot to mention. The dukkah ice-cream is flipping brilliant. You ain't had anything like it: well worth the ongoing embarrassment every time we visit the store.

These ice-creams are actually from the store on the other side of the park with a smaller line, and they are not dukkah flavour  but they are also pretty good

Glutenfrei Cupcakes II: This Time It's Personal

I know, we have already posted about the gluten free cupcakes from Cupcake. The thing is, we ordered those cupcakes as a share of a larger conglomerate, so I couldn't really comment on the whole experience. For Vicky's birthday, however, I placed a special order all by myself and everything was so lovely and delightful that I simply must write again to show you how truly amazing they really are. Also, we gots great pics of this lot.

Wo ist Wally?

Right here, at the convention, planning where to hide next.

They're at a restaurant called "Cheese King"

Start Me Up

Hello,

again my apologies for the length of time in-between posts. I have been working a new job and although it is awesome and precisely what I have always wanted to do, ever since I was a little boy in short pants with a cape, I have also been working preposterously long hours and not been able to make the blogging curfew (aka, my bed-time).

However, it's not all bad news. Allow me to explain. Because it is a bit of a strange thing working for these fledgling Berlin start-up companies and loads and loads of people seem to be flocking here to join in the fun, I thought I would write a list about the best and worst of it for anybody else mulling over the decision.