Mia Morr is Funkyrotic

No idea who she is but I'd like to meet her.

more street art

Sunday began with brunch at St Gaudy Cafe, then a long walk in the sunshine.

Hi guys.

Chilly Chilli

For a country with such a cold, grey climate, Germany does hot/spicy food surprisingly poorly. Rather than attempting to whisk away the winter blues with a lovely, warming curry that'll set your mouth on fire and run rockets down your gullet, the Germans appear to prefer sipping on lukewarm mush that matches the dreary sky above.

While Vicky and I have struggled in vain to find a decent spicy meal, no experience has so disappointed us as our evening eating 'hot chili' cornchips with a 'hot' salsa dip.

hamburger bahnhof: cool art

A few weekends ago, we went to the Hamburger Bahnhof, an art gallery inside what used to be a train station. Check out our photos of one of the exhibits.

East Berlin fashion outlet

Where it's hip to be poor:

Glutenfrei Beer: Liebharts Bio Reisbier

In Berlin, there is more than one type of glutenfrei beer. Even better, none of these beers cost $10 a bottle. Yay! I've tried a couple since we arrived in Berlin, but this is the first one that I bothered photographing.

Up until arriving in Berlin, I hadn't had beer in about 2 years, so I can't really give this one a proper review. But, it wasn't totally gross, AND it cost me less than 2 euros for a 500ml bottle. Winning!

Mmm... sacrilicious

yes, "Christburger Street"

This street sign made me smile but I didn't think to photograph it until Vicky called it sacrilicious. Christ, I love her.

Adventures in the spin trade

Berlin is tremendous for cycling. Being a keen cyclist, this makes me glad. Not only do I save billions of money on public transport fees, I get to appreciate a lot more of the city and simply feel a whole lot better about this 'living' caper.

Ernest Hemingway agrees with me, so you'd better toe the line. Would you argue with Ernest Hemingway? No, 'cause he'd punch you in the mouth and then write about it and the rest of the world would know that you were the arsehole of the story. Get on your bikes!

However, it's not all breadbaskets and roses. The unaware may run into some pitfalls (even literally). So, I will share some tips with you, both graphical and lexical, so that you, too, may appreciate the fabulous joy that is riding in Berlin. 

Almondy!

Glutenfrei chocolatey deliciousness.

In a supermarket freezer near you...if you live in Berlin.

Keep your eyes open.

I love all the street art in Berlin.

I wish Dome looked like this.

shit just got real

also a little bit sad that I'm not "Matthew Citizen" on this too

Glutenfrei cupcakes

OMFG! Glutenfrei cupcakes from Cupcake, in Friedrichshain. They're made to order, so unfortunately I can't just buy one when when I feel like eating a giant, delicious cupcake. But that's ok. 

 

also beer update

So it turns out the reason that the children's beer is so awful is because it is supposed to have a shot of woodruff or 'small schnapps glass of raspberry syrup' added per bottle. 

Nutella update

Can't take her anywhere... on the very same day that Vicky first opened her giant barrel of Nutella, she's smoodged it on the lid. 

Seriously - Day 1

German Precision

Matthew "Citizen" Richardson

When Vicky and I registered our residence in Berlin, as all tax-paying Germans must do, the woman working at das Bürgeramt manged to mix up the two lines on my passport for 'name' and 'citizenship'. Luckily I think I am still accepted as a British citizen, not a British Ian.

This isn't meant to slag off the kindly Bürgeramt arbeiterin. She was incredibly patient with my bumbling German and exceedingly helpful, considering. I doff my hat to her. The blame lies entirely with me. When she showed us the completed form, after our interview, and asked if it was all correct, I was too busy ensuring she hadn't listed any religion for us, rather than checking my actual flipping name. 

Why snow is sometimes quite nice.

Most of the time, I don't really like snow. It gets stuck in the soles of my shoes and then whenever I go inside, I leave dirty, wet footprints everywhere as I melt all over the floor. This can be really embarrassing, and sometimes, very hip-looking Germans point and laugh (true story).

But, snow is lovely when it's clean, fresh and nowhere near my boots.

Berlin, the gay-friendliest capital.

In the treats aisle of your local supermarket:

Super Dickmann's are super big with crispy chocolate

Not just any kind of Dickmann's, mind. Super Dickmann's.


Also, I shit you not, 'Prall' translates to 'firm', 'bulging', 'swollen' or 'chubby'. Who says Germans don't have a sense of humour?

NUTELLAAAAAA!

When I saw this at the supermarket, I just had to have it. 

1.4 kg of Nutella for €5.99. The jar is as big as my face.

Children's booze!

These Germans have a range of beers for children:

Berliner Child-le White Beer

And it's alcoholic:

Only lightly alcoholic at 3.0%, sure, but that's fair enough. They're only small.

I bought a sixpack of the stuff in Prenzlauer Berg, which is the awesome suburb in which we live. It's also referred to as "pregnancy hill" due to the high proportion of little-uns waddling around everywhere. Truly, it is a parents' paradise.

In case you're wondering: it tastes rubbish. Of course.

World's Greatest Branding

It works on so very many levels.

Soft AND reliable. Ladies, your search is over.

Things you wouldn't necessarily think of but are dead obvious once you realise.

The internet is a list maker's paradise. Sure, most of the internet is pretty much just a massive collection of useless, interrelated horrible opinions, but it's also a convenient medium for cataloging a number of similar topics and then sharing that collection with strangers. I swear I've never seen so many lists in my life than inadvertently on the internet, and I'm an organised chap. So, to participate fully in this e-sperience, I have made my own list, very rapidly, of some stuff I have observed in a month in Berlin. I call it:

Things you wouldn't necessarily think of about Germany but are dead obvious once you realise.

• Water from the tap is really, really cold.
• Hot food gets cold really quickly. By the time you've buttered your toast and walked into the next room, you're just having cold, crispy bread for breakfast. 
• The Berlin Underground is a box, not a tube. 
• (For my nerd friends: the Berlin Underground is a rectangular prism, not a cylinder.)
• Splashed/spilled water does not dry up quickly, or at all. 
• Your salary sounds much more generous when it's cited in monthly payments instead of fortnightly but, on a closer look, they're probably ripping you off. 
• Beer is cheap (and plentiful). I mean SE Asian level cheap. 
• Cider is elusive. 
• Boogies freeze in your nose, then thaw and drip out of your nostrils when you're aboard a warm train.
• Berliners still have early Perth-morning frost breath at midday.
• Tomato sauce bottles do not specify that they should be refrigerated after opening -- but it is recommended to keep them cold. 
• Water takes yonks to boil.
• Shrinkage is rampant. My fingers are much smaller and my wedding ring is quite loose.
• When Vicky's shopping list contains "100 paper", she means "loo paper".
• Vicky will laugh at you if you ask, "what's hundred paper?"

POMERANZA.

Both Matt and I love Mr Sparrow in Subiaco (but I think I love it just a little bit more). For several months, it was part of our Saturday morning routine to finish a trip to the Subi Farmers’ Market with a visit to our favourite little shop. Despite regular visits, during which we would touch everything on display and spend about 15 minutes staring longingly at all the stock, we really only ever bought greeting cards.


The owner is probably quite glad we’re gone.


Luckily, a few days after moving to our new flat in Prenzlauer Berg, we found our replacement for Mr Sparrow. It’s called POMERANZA design ranch.